Boy, oh boy! Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves. We kick our own a** mentally when we screw up, when we think we’ve let others down, when things aren’t going right, whenever. Those conversations we have with ourselves can be brutal. We’d never say the kinds of things we say to ourselves if we were talking to a friend or a loved one. But we seem to think it’s okay to do it to ourselves, or maybe we don’t realize that we’re doing it because it is such a constant habit.
Getting down on ourselves like this isn’t good for anything, certainly not our mental health, self esteem or confidence, let alone our happiness.
And yet, when we’re dealing with stress and uncertainty like we have been lately, it’s easy for these negative thoughts and conversations to run wild.
Breaking news! This is exactly the time we need to turn those conversations around. Instead of kicking our own a**, what we really need is a mental hug. Being kind and compassionate with ourselves is what’s needed to get us through.
Our Counsellor Olivia Dangas put together some information on Self-Compassion along with some thought-starters to help you to practice being kinder to yourself, especially during stressful times. Why not give it a try? You never know…you might like it 🙂
We live in an increasingly demanding and stressful world these days.
We can internalize this stress and it can result in us being extremely critical of ourselves. It is also often associated with neglecting our needs for self-care and other foundational elements of well-being.
The concept of self-compassion is a helpful avenue to explore in order to counteract the negative effects of stress and burnout.
Self-compassion is a way of relating to ourselves, which involves being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel in adequate.
It involves recognizing that being imperfect is part of the human experience and emphasizes that a gentle approach to our struggles results in greater emotional balance (Kristin Neff, 2021).
Here are some questions to help with being more self-compassionate. Use them as journaling prompts, or as a tool for inner self-reflection!
“What do I need right now?”
“How can I nurture myself?”
“In what ways can I be gentler to myself?”
“What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?”
“What is one expectation of myself that I can let go of or adjust?”
“What is one thing I can remove from my everyday schedule to create more space for rest and self-care?”
“What would I tell a friend who was thinking or feeling the way the same way?”
Thank you, Olivia! This is a great reminder for all of us. Not good at self compassion? Not to worry. It’s a learned skill…nobody’s born with it. We learn it through practice and consistency. Do it once. Do it again. Repeat.
Cheers to less mental a** kicking and more self compassion.
Penney